Oh, Mexico – the land of tequila, tacos, and romance… but, wait! While searching for love and adventure south of the border, there’s one more thing you might find: an unwanted case of the dreaded Montezuma’s Revenge, AKA traveler’s diarrhea. Thankfully, amigos y amigas, there’s no need to worry! I am here to save your date with this foolproof, hilarious guide on how to avoid that poop-tacular experience in Mexico. So, buckle up, and let’s dive into it!
Drink responsibly – and I don’t mean the alcohol!
While a luscious margarita on the beach may seem like the perfect drink to kick off your Mexican adventures, your insides are screaming, “NOOOOOOO!” Stick to bottled water or canned drinks to ensure you don’t ingest any harmful bacteria while rehydrating. Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a good tequila shot (or two), but remember to stick to bottled or purified water when grabbing a drink for your potential Mexican sweetheart. Pucker up, and say adios to those pesky bacteria!
Keep it spicy, but avoid the salsa
Now, now, I know what you’re thinking – Mexican food without salsa?! ‘Tis sacrilege! But our dear little belly bugs aren’t used to all that jalapeño goodness in their daily intake. To avoid feeling the heat twice (if you know what I mean), it’s better to go for freshly made guacamole instead. And fret not! That smooth and delicious avocado dip will still make you the spiciest date in town.
Pick your peckers wisely
No, we’re not talking about kissing right here, but choosing the right food source. As a general rule, if it’s fried or grilled – go for it! Contamination chances are significantly reduced with the heat, so it’s safe to take your date to that sizzling taco joint you’ve been eyeing. On the other hand, raw veggies or fresh salads? Consider them certified Montezuma magnets. Like the lottery, you gotta win it to be in it, and this time, it’s safer to sit on the sidelines.
Run, don’t swim (sorry, lovers!)
Nothing says “romance” like a shared dip in a pool, but you better watch out for that area around the hotel hot tub – diarrhea Central Station awaits you there! That’s right, the water in pools and hot tubs might carry our dreaded foe. Unless you both want to remember this as the “Swimming Out of Love” date, you should either stick to swimming in the ocean or opt for something less wet, like a romantic walk by the beach. Hold hands, keep your trunks and bikinis dry, and savour the lasting memories without a bathroom coda!
Keep it clean – and not just your pick-up lines
In matters of love and the toilet, cleanliness is more than a virtue – it’s a necessity! Take hand sanitizer wherever you go and use it liberally (looking at you, amigo, who’s touching every menu in town). Ensuring your hands are clean minimizes the risk of ingesting our pesky bacteria friends and keeping both you and your date free from Montezuma’s clutches.
Now, get out there, you brave love warrior, and enjoy all the romance and adventure Mexico has to offer without falling victim to the dangerous doldrums of Montezuma’s Revenge! With this foolproof guide, love will be the only thing you’ll catch on your journey south of the border. Viva el amor!
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